Vanessa Morgan is Benjamin Caldwellmoving forward.

More than three years after the then-pregnant Riverdale alum and husband Michael Kopech broke up, she reflected on navigating this difficult period while preparing to welcome her first baby.

"Part of the biggest thing is that embarrassment, it's not wanting to face that you have a broken family," Vanessa told Rachel Bilson and Olivia Allen on the March 11 episode of their Broad Ideas podcast. "You get married and you want to have that fantasy. You feel disappointed to tell people that it didn't work out."

Michael, 27, filed for divorce in July 2020 after seven month of marriage and just one month after the couple announced Vanessa's pregnancy. She welcomed River, now 3, in January 2021. 

"I think that's the beauty of life," the 31-year-old admitted. "It doesn't always go as planned and it's the journey. It ended up being the biggest blessing of my life, but in the moment, it's so painful."

"You mourn the future that never happened," Vanessa continued. "You mourn the fantasy that you created, and that wasn't the reality that was the best alignment for me."

That's not to say it wasn't difficult to experience her pregnancy and postpartum depression alone. 

"I had to seek a higher power," she explained, "going into prayer, going into meditation—going to bed crying every night praying to God to help, give me clarity, make this pain go away."

As she endured this heartache in the public eye, Vanessa chose to ignore the hate and internet trolls.

"I chose to stay silent for my peace," she noted. "I believe when you feed into the gossip, it just makes things worse. I chose to stay silent. I chose for my son's peace to stay silent."

But after that painful chapter, Vanessa is in a great place and has even found love with basketball player James Karnik, whom she began dating in 2022.

"I'm so happy I have such a good partner," she added, "but that pain, I don't wish it on anybody."

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